Millennials. The internet generation. Once called generation Y, to follow X, some pundit or scientist decided that it was more apt to coin the term that refers to those who came of age during the turn of the millennium. It includes pretty much myself and probably 80% of those who most impact my life. I'm not a big fan of the label. Then again, it was probably never meant as a compliment. I think we also could be called The Lost Generation. Unless... I think maybe that was another term for The Beatniks. Not that we are dissimilar. I digress.
There is a cliche phrase that our generation demands "a trophy just for showing up" and that competition can be unfair and unhealthy and anything that hurts our self-esteem is bad for us. I literally remember an event in my childhood when my extended family had put together a set of games, both sport and parlor, and there were trophies for each category. There was me and there was this other kid. I killed it at poker, even against the adults, and I won a trophy. This other kid, not a blood relative, sucked at everything and cried. He threw a huge fit until they presented him with a trophy... just for showing up. It's cool. I mean, I was a little asshole, too. Trust me. I was no peach. I'm pretty sure I won poker via dumb luck and I was not unlike this other little kid with his ADHD and attitude problems.
I just remember looking at him, very clearly, and thinking GOD. Ew. Kids suck. We suck. His behavior was so unsavory and it was rewarded... but I also remember thinking that the adults around us were allowing us to be assholes. It was like they were afraid of us. I'm not now and never have been afraid to say no. I think it's healthy to hear it and say it. Boundaries are important. I'm super aware that I can be extremely self-involved and need to be told no a lot of the time. To be honest, I know my partner is the one for me because he doesn't just do whatever I want. I've dated plenty of pushovers and I get bored. He's good for me. He sets limits. I'm good for him. I call him on his shit. That's what an adult relationship should be.
So, then, why was it so hard for our parents to say no to us? Why did they treat us any differently than they treated their peers? Maybe every generation is just really spoiled by the previous. Maybe all young people throughout history suck. I think it's probably accurate. Youth and beauty breed vanity and cruelty... But, am I wrong in feeling like our generation is more vapid than prior generations? Isn't there something inherently disgusting about this new, plastic bubble we all live in? I know I'm painting a very broad stroke with a very wide brush... but I think you know what I mean. I'm just basically grossed-out when I think of how entitled I am... and even more disgusted when I think of some of the people I know who are so much more entitled. In the very least, I support myself financially. I live thousands of miles away from home and I cut the cord. Granted, a big part of me wishes I was still at home like my sister and everything was easy. It just happens that I don't get along very well with my family and I pretty much think they suck most of the time, so I escaped. If they were less awful, I'd probably still be at home. It's harsh, but it's the truth. I'm not spilling any secrets by saying so. They know exactly what I think of them most of the time.
I wonder if that makes me luckier or less lucky? My sister is more kindred to my parents, so she gets to live in a big house on a fancy golf course and not really worry about anything... but, she's basically retired from nothing. Not being close to my family has given me the permission to live in the world, among people, and carve out my own semblance of a family. Yeah, it's lonely a lot of the time, but would I rather be in Palm Springs doing nothing all the time? Hell, no. However, I know plenty of people my age that do exactly that. Their moms do their laundry and cook their dinners and they're pushing 30. And yet, they find a lot of room to complain and feel... and feel, and feel. It's like all that matters to our generation is how we feel. I mean, I'm guilty of it, too.
A good allegory of the millennial condition is the movie The Graduate. Disaffection. Social isolation... and most importantly, an overwhelming drive of self-interest and intensity towards a goalless outcome. We are all so completely concerned with our happiness and following our own destiny without any thought of the end-game. We are all about the means and, yet, it's unclear what our goal really is. Dustin Hoffman doesn't want to be controlled or dictated to and he follows his own heart... but in the end, he ends up sitting next to a girl on a bus, who he doesn't know, and has essentially lived out a version of a Greek tragedy with her mother... only to ride off with this girl... not into the sunset... but into the darkness. There is no happy ending. It's unclear what will happen, but it is clear that they both made huge, split-decision sacrifices that will affect them forever. That's what I see in myself and my generation.
We all walk around making all these crazy mistakes and none of us know what we want to be when we grow up. It's not that we are more selfish than previous generations, it's just that we give ourselves more permission to be. Our parents' generation was more anesthetized; we are more desensitized. It may seem like a minor difference... but the difference is that anesthesia wears off, but deadened nerves remain numb. Every generation looks to the next with a certain amount of disapproval and worry, but it seems like this is a generation that looks around at itself with disapproval and worry.
I don't think we are a bad version of our progenitors... I think our generation has the potential to be the most amazing in history, but we just need to be much more unified. Ben Franklin famously said, "We must, indeed, all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately" Granted, his context was completely different, but I still think it's relevant. Millennials definitely hang separately and therefore our freedom is slowly stripped away without our notice. We are so loud and say nothing. I write this blog, but I'm not shouting it on the steps of The Capitol. We're all angry at the thought of being controlled and we walk around like robots, plugged into our devices. We all watch zombie movies and shows and miss the metaphor. We all take surveys, but never take the pulse of our collective body. We don't really care about much as long as we have television, spending money and an internet connection. We are the most easily distracted by shiny objects.
I guess the point of all my postulation is this: What happens in 30 years? What's going to be the turning point? We all seem totally fragmented and adrift... Is that just every young generation and we all eventually flip a switch and turn into adults? Or, should I genuinely be worried? I am genuinely worried... is that reasonable or do I just need to chill out? Will it all work out or are we the beginning of the end? One day, all our parents will be dead... and then we will be the ones left to take care of the next generation. That's a scary thought. If you don't think it is, strike up a conversation with an average, random stranger. It's scary how stupid people our age are. I don't expect everyone to be a Rhodes Scholar, but it would be nice if I could have a conversation with someone my own age without leaving it thinking about forced-sterilization and electroshock therapy. I guess I always see the worst traits about myself in others and that's what I fear the most... But if someone as smart as I am has no idea what the fuck is happening or how to fix it, doesn't that mean I should be concerned? I'm great at social commentary, but I have no idea how to start a revolution. So, what am I supposed to do? Wait for the bros I see douching their way down the street to do something about this conundrum?
I guess the only answer I can come up with is self-regulation. If I'm being a stupid dick, I just stop it. Work towards making the world better. It sounds simple... but that's the crazy thing about revolution... it takes a whole lot of people. It starts with one person...
If a hard rain's gonna fall... it begins with one drop.
There is a cliche phrase that our generation demands "a trophy just for showing up" and that competition can be unfair and unhealthy and anything that hurts our self-esteem is bad for us. I literally remember an event in my childhood when my extended family had put together a set of games, both sport and parlor, and there were trophies for each category. There was me and there was this other kid. I killed it at poker, even against the adults, and I won a trophy. This other kid, not a blood relative, sucked at everything and cried. He threw a huge fit until they presented him with a trophy... just for showing up. It's cool. I mean, I was a little asshole, too. Trust me. I was no peach. I'm pretty sure I won poker via dumb luck and I was not unlike this other little kid with his ADHD and attitude problems.
I just remember looking at him, very clearly, and thinking GOD. Ew. Kids suck. We suck. His behavior was so unsavory and it was rewarded... but I also remember thinking that the adults around us were allowing us to be assholes. It was like they were afraid of us. I'm not now and never have been afraid to say no. I think it's healthy to hear it and say it. Boundaries are important. I'm super aware that I can be extremely self-involved and need to be told no a lot of the time. To be honest, I know my partner is the one for me because he doesn't just do whatever I want. I've dated plenty of pushovers and I get bored. He's good for me. He sets limits. I'm good for him. I call him on his shit. That's what an adult relationship should be.
So, then, why was it so hard for our parents to say no to us? Why did they treat us any differently than they treated their peers? Maybe every generation is just really spoiled by the previous. Maybe all young people throughout history suck. I think it's probably accurate. Youth and beauty breed vanity and cruelty... But, am I wrong in feeling like our generation is more vapid than prior generations? Isn't there something inherently disgusting about this new, plastic bubble we all live in? I know I'm painting a very broad stroke with a very wide brush... but I think you know what I mean. I'm just basically grossed-out when I think of how entitled I am... and even more disgusted when I think of some of the people I know who are so much more entitled. In the very least, I support myself financially. I live thousands of miles away from home and I cut the cord. Granted, a big part of me wishes I was still at home like my sister and everything was easy. It just happens that I don't get along very well with my family and I pretty much think they suck most of the time, so I escaped. If they were less awful, I'd probably still be at home. It's harsh, but it's the truth. I'm not spilling any secrets by saying so. They know exactly what I think of them most of the time.
I wonder if that makes me luckier or less lucky? My sister is more kindred to my parents, so she gets to live in a big house on a fancy golf course and not really worry about anything... but, she's basically retired from nothing. Not being close to my family has given me the permission to live in the world, among people, and carve out my own semblance of a family. Yeah, it's lonely a lot of the time, but would I rather be in Palm Springs doing nothing all the time? Hell, no. However, I know plenty of people my age that do exactly that. Their moms do their laundry and cook their dinners and they're pushing 30. And yet, they find a lot of room to complain and feel... and feel, and feel. It's like all that matters to our generation is how we feel. I mean, I'm guilty of it, too.
A good allegory of the millennial condition is the movie The Graduate. Disaffection. Social isolation... and most importantly, an overwhelming drive of self-interest and intensity towards a goalless outcome. We are all so completely concerned with our happiness and following our own destiny without any thought of the end-game. We are all about the means and, yet, it's unclear what our goal really is. Dustin Hoffman doesn't want to be controlled or dictated to and he follows his own heart... but in the end, he ends up sitting next to a girl on a bus, who he doesn't know, and has essentially lived out a version of a Greek tragedy with her mother... only to ride off with this girl... not into the sunset... but into the darkness. There is no happy ending. It's unclear what will happen, but it is clear that they both made huge, split-decision sacrifices that will affect them forever. That's what I see in myself and my generation.
We all walk around making all these crazy mistakes and none of us know what we want to be when we grow up. It's not that we are more selfish than previous generations, it's just that we give ourselves more permission to be. Our parents' generation was more anesthetized; we are more desensitized. It may seem like a minor difference... but the difference is that anesthesia wears off, but deadened nerves remain numb. Every generation looks to the next with a certain amount of disapproval and worry, but it seems like this is a generation that looks around at itself with disapproval and worry.
I don't think we are a bad version of our progenitors... I think our generation has the potential to be the most amazing in history, but we just need to be much more unified. Ben Franklin famously said, "We must, indeed, all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately" Granted, his context was completely different, but I still think it's relevant. Millennials definitely hang separately and therefore our freedom is slowly stripped away without our notice. We are so loud and say nothing. I write this blog, but I'm not shouting it on the steps of The Capitol. We're all angry at the thought of being controlled and we walk around like robots, plugged into our devices. We all watch zombie movies and shows and miss the metaphor. We all take surveys, but never take the pulse of our collective body. We don't really care about much as long as we have television, spending money and an internet connection. We are the most easily distracted by shiny objects.
I guess the point of all my postulation is this: What happens in 30 years? What's going to be the turning point? We all seem totally fragmented and adrift... Is that just every young generation and we all eventually flip a switch and turn into adults? Or, should I genuinely be worried? I am genuinely worried... is that reasonable or do I just need to chill out? Will it all work out or are we the beginning of the end? One day, all our parents will be dead... and then we will be the ones left to take care of the next generation. That's a scary thought. If you don't think it is, strike up a conversation with an average, random stranger. It's scary how stupid people our age are. I don't expect everyone to be a Rhodes Scholar, but it would be nice if I could have a conversation with someone my own age without leaving it thinking about forced-sterilization and electroshock therapy. I guess I always see the worst traits about myself in others and that's what I fear the most... But if someone as smart as I am has no idea what the fuck is happening or how to fix it, doesn't that mean I should be concerned? I'm great at social commentary, but I have no idea how to start a revolution. So, what am I supposed to do? Wait for the bros I see douching their way down the street to do something about this conundrum?
I guess the only answer I can come up with is self-regulation. If I'm being a stupid dick, I just stop it. Work towards making the world better. It sounds simple... but that's the crazy thing about revolution... it takes a whole lot of people. It starts with one person...
If a hard rain's gonna fall... it begins with one drop.
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